Two years ago today saw the worst natural disaster to hit the United States. Ever. That was the day that everything changed around here. The city had become a ghost town, as most of the population that could and wanted to had already left. Windows were boarded up, cars placed on neutral grounds (that's a median strip to the rest of the country) or in high rise parking garages, when available, everything was either tied down, or otherwise secured, and people that had left thought that they would be back in just a couple of days, as had happened before with Ivan and Georges. That was not to be.
On the morning of the 29th of August, Katrina passed south of the city of New Orleans, right through Buras, Louisiana. It came back into Gulf waters on the other side of the tip of Louisiana's boot, then aimed for the mouth of the Pearl River, on the border between Louisiana and Mississippi. After the storm initially passed, everything was fine. At least initially. The storm surge, coupled with the change of wind direction after the eye passed, created such pressure on the levee system, that breaches began to form. First, along the Industrial Canal, then the 17th Street Canal, then the Orleans Canal, another along the Industrial Canal, all followed by the flood of pent up water through neighborhoods. Being in Memphis as I was, I heard about it in stages, but, after the dust settled, I was able to peice together what had happened to my fouled up, but fair city.
Now, two years later, the water is gone. Many of the people are still gone. We have celebrities talking about building "green" homes, an army of Habitat for Humanity people are still here doing whatever they can to get homes built. College students still spend their vacations coming here to gut houses and help with recovery. Church groups are expanding their meal programs outside of the city. Our citizens are still scattered all aound the country - wherever they had relatives or decided to start over. In short, the New Orleans of old is no more. The NEW New Orleans is not yet here.
We are in a strange state of limbo, caught between yin and yang. Or, as was so elegantly put in an episode of Babylon 5, between tick and tock. The city is trying to decide whether to live or to die, in my opinion. There are stalwarts who will tell you that New Orleans will never go away, that we will come back better than before, that we shall rise up. There are just as many who say, "Yeah, prove it."
Personally, I find myself torn every day between the two camps. I want my home to be successful and back the way it was. However, each day, it takes twice as much effort to do even the simplest of tasks. Street lights are still out all over the place. Many favorite restaurants are not open, some permanently, others replaced by new ones. Businesses have folded, compressed, cut down to one of a particular kind in the area, etc.. I know I'm not the only one who wants to wake up and have it all back like it was before. Virtually every person around here wants that.
There are a few bright spots, though. The Saints have done well in lifting our spirits. Some of the good old favorites are back - gelatto at Brocatto's or snoballs at Hansen's or Plum Street. Camellia Grill is finally back open. Jazz Fest and Mardi Gras continue, as do the other festivals in the area.
There are bad spots, too. Crime is almost as bad as it was before Katrina, and we have fewer people. Our politicians keep going to jail in public corruption schemes. Blight is everywhere, and you'd have to be blind to miss it. There is a general malaise over the city, and everyone knows it. No one wants to do anything about it, and we are all deluding ourselves with stuff, fantasy, and other distractions to keep us from focusing on what we need to do. We all want someone else to take care of our stuff for us.
We either expect the government to bails us out completely, or we wait for anyone else to come along to tell us what to do and how to do it. We point blame everywhere except where it belongs: squarely on the shoulders of everyone who stays here or wants to come back here.
We are responsible for our own actions. We must pick ourselves up. It is not a Road Home program, or FEMA money that will save us. We must do it. I have great hope and faith in the movements against violence in our city. The people are trying to take back their neighborhoods. With the help of total strangers, we are doing it. It will just take time. In this world of instant gratification, we are led to believe that everything should be instant - now. Well, ask the folks in Florida about things being right immediately. Ask the residents of Kobe, Japan if things are put back together immediately. Ask California residents if post-earthquake, things just pop right back up. We will come back.
On a final note, I, personally, would like to say thank you to the Memphis Red Cross, and the citizens of Memphis who took good care of my wife and I during our evacuation there. I would also like to thank the folks of Baton Rouge, who tolerated me for 4 months while I was in exile from my home. Also, a huge thank you to all the volunteers, care workers, agency people, and, expecially, the U.S. Army, the National Guard, the Coast Guard, the U.S. Navy, the U.S. Marine Corps, and the police, fire, rescue agencies of all the states and municipalities who sent people and/or aid to our area. Without you, we would not have been able to come back. Without you, we would not be able to continue our struggle to be back. Thank you. Thank you, all.
K
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Just Another Monday
I was hoping to have some creative writing here, at some point. However, real life has dictated otherwise. Work continues to be work, and, the bosses are up to something. When there are closed door meetings, it is never good. At least that has been my experience. Hopefully, today will be just another run of the hormones by the female bosses, and not anything to worry about. I think there is some issue over someone not paying their bill. I hope it's not on anyof the work I did, and, from what I can tell right now, I am correct. Only time will tell for sure.
OK, so, that was just panicing. Not surprising, considering what I've gone through in the past few years. I just have to remind myself that as long as I keep doing my work, and do it well, they won't do anything to me, despite the previous actions of other employers. I just have to keep telling myself that.....
Anyway, the big trip to Dragon*Con is coming up in a few days. I know I will only have one day there, but, considering that I don't go to any other cons, it's all good for me. My mother-in-law lives in Atlanta, so, we go, and I get my day for fun out of the deal. It's not bad really, and with it falling close after my birthday, I get some special treatment, and usually a little extra cash to spend at the con. That is always a good thing. And, this year, some friends of mine are coming in from England for the con, so, I will get to see them. I haven't seen them since their wedding last year (we took our honeymoon so that it would coincide with their wedding). That will be an added bonus to the trip for me.
In other news, well, I'm staying away from political commentary and such. Not that I've been terribl burned in blogs/journals before, however, I am trying to avoid posting about that, except in the rare circumstance that I am venting about things here in NOLA.
Well, I have succeeded in maintaining my posting record by posting today. I will have something else for next week, unless I get creative before then. Though I seriously doubt it, with the con looming in the distance.
K
OK, so, that was just panicing. Not surprising, considering what I've gone through in the past few years. I just have to remind myself that as long as I keep doing my work, and do it well, they won't do anything to me, despite the previous actions of other employers. I just have to keep telling myself that.....
Anyway, the big trip to Dragon*Con is coming up in a few days. I know I will only have one day there, but, considering that I don't go to any other cons, it's all good for me. My mother-in-law lives in Atlanta, so, we go, and I get my day for fun out of the deal. It's not bad really, and with it falling close after my birthday, I get some special treatment, and usually a little extra cash to spend at the con. That is always a good thing. And, this year, some friends of mine are coming in from England for the con, so, I will get to see them. I haven't seen them since their wedding last year (we took our honeymoon so that it would coincide with their wedding). That will be an added bonus to the trip for me.
In other news, well, I'm staying away from political commentary and such. Not that I've been terribl burned in blogs/journals before, however, I am trying to avoid posting about that, except in the rare circumstance that I am venting about things here in NOLA.
Well, I have succeeded in maintaining my posting record by posting today. I will have something else for next week, unless I get creative before then. Though I seriously doubt it, with the con looming in the distance.
K
Monday, August 20, 2007
The More Things Change, Part III
This is getting a little tiresome. Just a few days ago, I posted Part II here, thinking that my ultimate revelations on life, the universe and everything had been resolved, or at least, I had had my epiphany, and that would be the end of it. However, on Friday the 17th, despite my best efforts to ignore it and hope it would go away, I was forced to deal with Hurricane Dean. Granted, I did not have to deal with it in the same manner as Katrina, however, it was more than I wanted to at all.
You see, two years ago, it was on a Friday, when I went out for lunch with my "cool" co-workers for my birthday (celebrated a little late), that we had the discussion about the storm, and what would be involved with dealing with it. We had lunch at a great place called "Port of Call" (one of the best burgers in New Orleans). I should have known that there was something amiss when The Weather Channel was on the television instead of the usual variety of sports, even on a workday. We had lunch, and, just before we left for the weekend, my last words were that Katrina would turn before it could hit us, and we would be safe, I was not planning on evacuating. Well, when the storm became a Category 5 between midnight Saturday and 7 AM Sunday, it was going to make the turn, alright, but, it was too big and had too much momentum, so, it looked like it could very well hit the city. I evacuated, and passed word along to all concerned parties with my company. In CNN/Foxnews/MSNBC haze over the next three days, I found out that the storm did turn, just like I said it would. It just happened to be west of the mouth of the Mississippi River instead of east of it, therefore Buras took the big hit, and New Orleans got the west side of the storm.
This year, it was deja vu all over again. It was a Friday, there were birthday celebrations planned/going on, and here there was another freaking storm in the freaking Carribean. Our plan was to visit with the folks in Baton Rouge that put us up during Katrina. Everything was having a very familiar ring to it. All anyone at work could talk about on the 17th was Dean and what the forecast track was. One of my current co-workers is planing on going to Cancun for vacation Labor Day weekend, so, that was the big crisis - was there going to be a Cancun to go to. I had hoped that I would never have to look at another hurricane forecast and give my estimates for a long time. It seems that two years was the max limit for that.
Last year, I did not look at anything related to a storm. I was not worried about it, or, more accurately, I was ignoring it. We were fortunate that there was nothing of any significance headed our way, but, still, I let my post-traumatic stress dominate my responses to the weather.
Now, faced with that same situation again, I made the decision to face the fear that had secretly gripped me for all this time. I looked things up, talked to people about the factors in making the predictions, my accuracy over the years, and all the other things that I was trying to keep buried. On one level, it was gratifying for everyone to look to me for the answers that I had previously been so quick with. On another level, I was still afraid, as things were looking the same, yet again.
I fought through my fear. I guess, that is what courage is all about. Acting despite your fear, instead of it being the absence of fear. Now, I realize a little more about growing up, and learning from where we've been. While I still believe that the more things change, the more they stay the same, I am beginning to see and enjoy the opportunities that life has a way of placing in our path so that while things are the same, they are also able to change.
K
You see, two years ago, it was on a Friday, when I went out for lunch with my "cool" co-workers for my birthday (celebrated a little late), that we had the discussion about the storm, and what would be involved with dealing with it. We had lunch at a great place called "Port of Call" (one of the best burgers in New Orleans). I should have known that there was something amiss when The Weather Channel was on the television instead of the usual variety of sports, even on a workday. We had lunch, and, just before we left for the weekend, my last words were that Katrina would turn before it could hit us, and we would be safe, I was not planning on evacuating. Well, when the storm became a Category 5 between midnight Saturday and 7 AM Sunday, it was going to make the turn, alright, but, it was too big and had too much momentum, so, it looked like it could very well hit the city. I evacuated, and passed word along to all concerned parties with my company. In CNN/Foxnews/MSNBC haze over the next three days, I found out that the storm did turn, just like I said it would. It just happened to be west of the mouth of the Mississippi River instead of east of it, therefore Buras took the big hit, and New Orleans got the west side of the storm.
This year, it was deja vu all over again. It was a Friday, there were birthday celebrations planned/going on, and here there was another freaking storm in the freaking Carribean. Our plan was to visit with the folks in Baton Rouge that put us up during Katrina. Everything was having a very familiar ring to it. All anyone at work could talk about on the 17th was Dean and what the forecast track was. One of my current co-workers is planing on going to Cancun for vacation Labor Day weekend, so, that was the big crisis - was there going to be a Cancun to go to. I had hoped that I would never have to look at another hurricane forecast and give my estimates for a long time. It seems that two years was the max limit for that.
Last year, I did not look at anything related to a storm. I was not worried about it, or, more accurately, I was ignoring it. We were fortunate that there was nothing of any significance headed our way, but, still, I let my post-traumatic stress dominate my responses to the weather.
Now, faced with that same situation again, I made the decision to face the fear that had secretly gripped me for all this time. I looked things up, talked to people about the factors in making the predictions, my accuracy over the years, and all the other things that I was trying to keep buried. On one level, it was gratifying for everyone to look to me for the answers that I had previously been so quick with. On another level, I was still afraid, as things were looking the same, yet again.
I fought through my fear. I guess, that is what courage is all about. Acting despite your fear, instead of it being the absence of fear. Now, I realize a little more about growing up, and learning from where we've been. While I still believe that the more things change, the more they stay the same, I am beginning to see and enjoy the opportunities that life has a way of placing in our path so that while things are the same, they are also able to change.
K
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The More Things Change, Part II
The More Things Change, Part II
The first part of this was written as an article for the RPG Times in 2005. Shortly after my birthday, and before September 11. In truth, it was written before August 29, 2005. Before the world I lived in changed forever. Now, as I sit here writing part two, two years later, I am faced with some of the same introspective emotions that plagued me then.
Now, I am about to turn 33. Yes, I will be advertising for Rolling Rock beer. And, yes, I have heard the jokes about crucifixion, crosses, Jesus, etc.. I half expect to hear a rooster crow the next time I hear one of those references about me. I keep denying that I am Christ. Which is the truth. I'm not, never claimed to be, never will be. But, all that aside, it really gets you to start thinking about where you are in life when you put things in that perspective.
And, like Part I, I am approaching a milestone of sorts - the anniversary of Katrina (that bitch). Admittedly, that last part is something that I have taken to doing when mentioning that name in the context in which I just used it. I have nothing against the name, directly, however, when you can't go home for 6 months because of a freaking wind storm, you tend to get a little bitter. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that where I live, New Orleans, looks on August 29 as a day that will live in infamy, much like September 11 is for New Yorkers. And, like that event, there were ripples of emotion that swept the country. People felt for us, and the folks in New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania. However, with time, that sympathy faded, and now, it is more of a "They're still complaining, I thought everything was fixed up."
Well, it isn't. Neither is New York. More importantly, beyond the physical buildings that still are not rebuilt, or demolished, the people that are here are suffering from emotional fatigue, post-traumatic stress, and general malaise. I would suspect that New York has some similar emotional problems, as well. As much as I would like to continue to draw parallels, I'm going to stop here, because I cannot speak to New York's situation directly. I can speak about my city and what has or has not happened in the past two years, as well as what has happened to me.
In the space of two short years, I have undergone two periods of unemployment, gotten married, been darned near broke, been forced out of my home, did temp work (sounds awfully familiar, right?). So, here I am, again, in a new job, working with new people I like, doing something that I love, and getting paid pretty well for it. I'm enjoying my hobbies again. I have new friends, and still maintain contact with the old friends, even the far flung ones. Again, I am on top of my game.
I'm not going to go into the gaming industry in general, as I have been out of the main loop for those two years. I stay on top of what I want to now, tightening my belt, so to speak, and not spending willy-nilly on everything that comes out that looks cool. I play a few of my old games, even in their new forms. I even plan to run a new RPG based on one of my favorite miniature games. But, that's where I'll leave gaming in this article.
That brings me back to me, the city, and things being pretty much the same as they have always been. And things change, as well. Two years ago, after Katrina, there were blue tarps on many roofs. I had a great view from my 36th floor office space. Now, when I look out from that same, or a substantially similar vantage point, I see many fewer tarps. That is good news. I also have driven to and through blighted areas. Many of them are still the same. There are work crews rebuilding some rental properties, some individual home owners have rebuilt. However, they are located right next to properties that may never see any repairs. The Corps of Engineers has rebuilt many levees, and added strength to others. Most of those changes will prevent the levee breaches that took over the city back then, however, the pumping capacity is not sufficient to overcome major rainfalls when the "surge protections" are in place. My opinion: we get another major storm, we'll end up under just as much water as before, except the home owners' insurance policies will be hard pressed to pull the same things they are pulling now - not paying out - because wind driven rain may not be excluded. But I digress, only slightly.
What is still the same is that many people are relying on the government to make everything better for them. There is a Louisiana Recovery Authority, organized by our illustrious Governor Blanco (we sometimes call her "Blank Stare", "Stanco", "Bobblehead" - after her middle name, Babineaux), which has done nothing short of promise things it cannot deliver. That group created the "Road Home" program, which paid an outside company WAY too much money with little result, except to not have enough to pay out the claims made by people wanting to return home. In addition, the hoops and hurdles to jump through to get this money are staggering. In short, people are waiting for money that will never come. The Feds aren't much help either. With the problems of getting back into regular housing, FEMA wants to get people out of trailers. Great. Where will they go? The long and the short of it all is that after two years, we are little more than where we were right after the water was pumped out. The upside is that other hurricane ravaged areas have taken a while to rebuild, as well. Florida is only now coming back to some level of normal following the summer of 4 storms. So, this is to be expected.
Our elected officials are being outed for illegal and questionable activity. Nothing new for Louisiana, home of the best politicians money can buy for two centuries. We have a Congressman who kept $90,000 in his freezer who expects us to think this is a normal sort of thing, even though everyone in Washington involved with the deal he has been tied to stated he was involved and took the money as a bribe to get what they wanted. We have a Senator who stepped out on his wife, and admitted it. One of the candidates for governor sold his home grown Louisiana business to an out of state insurance company's parent company (the insurance company has been engaged in fraudulent activities in Florida), taking a Louisiana business and making it a 'foreign' entity, possibly costing Louisiana residents their jobs at a time when we need to get and keep business here. We have a City Councilman just resigned under Federal indictment for a kickback scheme from 5 years ago. We have several judges that have been ousted for everything from letting criminals practically walk free while pending trial (bonds so low, they pretty much could walk right out) to running court from their house by telephone. We have a former Governor in prison for bribes/kickbacks that took no less than three U.S. Attorneys over 20 years to finally succeed in prosecuting him and gaining a conviction. We've had a lawyer embezzle $4 million from his firm. We even had a law student get busted for soliciting a minor for sex over the internet. That's right, we have it all down here. Sadly, anyone looking at the history of Louisiana will realize that this sort of thing has been the norm since we were founded. Again, the more things change...
So, where am I going with all of this, aside from ranting on about things that annoy me? I am simply saying that looking back on the past two years, I have seen some strange things that, under different circumstances might make me cringe, however, because of what I have seen and experienced, I think that now, I can finally say, I have been able to move past much of it, or at least learned how to deal with it. What do I mean? Well, prior to all of this, I was bopping along happily doing my job. Afterwards, folks elsewhere changed, lost their sympathy for our situation down here, and demanded things that, mentally, I was not quite ready to do. End result: I was looking for work the week before my wedding. I get back from the honeymoon, did temp work for my wife's boss, and then he runs out of money to pay me after 4 months. I'm out of work again. I land the job I'm in now. The first month is not quite what I was expecting, and then, the post-traumatic stress, depression and anxiety all kick in at once. I wallowed in it for about two weeks, then decided to do something about it. I was tired of things "being the same" and decided to have "things change". I called my doctor, got something for the anxiety. After two weeks, it really didn't help much for the depression, so I asked for anti-depressants. I began seeing a therapist, who made a recommendation on a better anti-anxiety pill. Now, both work well, and I have learned to deal with some of the root causes of things. Granted, I still have a long way to go, as there are some issues that go way back for me, but the post-K items are doing much better.
For anyone who knows me personally, the above was a major confession, and a major growth step for me, as saying things like that have never come easily for me, even talking to my closest friends and relatives. I guess that is part of the anonymity of the internet. I feel I can just put this out there. But, in some ways, it was necessary. Both to complete the circle from the article two years ago, and to get some things off my chest.
In the future, I don't expect to do much of this sort of thing, as I intend to try to keep this a fiction forum. However, I ran across Part I while cleaning up my thumb drives, and realized that not only was it never published, but, I never got around to Part II. So, I bring myself some closure here, as I intend to do with my writing in the future. I had to start somewhere. After all, I would like to make some changes without things remaining the same.
K
The first part of this was written as an article for the RPG Times in 2005. Shortly after my birthday, and before September 11. In truth, it was written before August 29, 2005. Before the world I lived in changed forever. Now, as I sit here writing part two, two years later, I am faced with some of the same introspective emotions that plagued me then.
Now, I am about to turn 33. Yes, I will be advertising for Rolling Rock beer. And, yes, I have heard the jokes about crucifixion, crosses, Jesus, etc.. I half expect to hear a rooster crow the next time I hear one of those references about me. I keep denying that I am Christ. Which is the truth. I'm not, never claimed to be, never will be. But, all that aside, it really gets you to start thinking about where you are in life when you put things in that perspective.
And, like Part I, I am approaching a milestone of sorts - the anniversary of Katrina (that bitch). Admittedly, that last part is something that I have taken to doing when mentioning that name in the context in which I just used it. I have nothing against the name, directly, however, when you can't go home for 6 months because of a freaking wind storm, you tend to get a little bitter. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that where I live, New Orleans, looks on August 29 as a day that will live in infamy, much like September 11 is for New Yorkers. And, like that event, there were ripples of emotion that swept the country. People felt for us, and the folks in New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania. However, with time, that sympathy faded, and now, it is more of a "They're still complaining, I thought everything was fixed up."
Well, it isn't. Neither is New York. More importantly, beyond the physical buildings that still are not rebuilt, or demolished, the people that are here are suffering from emotional fatigue, post-traumatic stress, and general malaise. I would suspect that New York has some similar emotional problems, as well. As much as I would like to continue to draw parallels, I'm going to stop here, because I cannot speak to New York's situation directly. I can speak about my city and what has or has not happened in the past two years, as well as what has happened to me.
In the space of two short years, I have undergone two periods of unemployment, gotten married, been darned near broke, been forced out of my home, did temp work (sounds awfully familiar, right?). So, here I am, again, in a new job, working with new people I like, doing something that I love, and getting paid pretty well for it. I'm enjoying my hobbies again. I have new friends, and still maintain contact with the old friends, even the far flung ones. Again, I am on top of my game.
I'm not going to go into the gaming industry in general, as I have been out of the main loop for those two years. I stay on top of what I want to now, tightening my belt, so to speak, and not spending willy-nilly on everything that comes out that looks cool. I play a few of my old games, even in their new forms. I even plan to run a new RPG based on one of my favorite miniature games. But, that's where I'll leave gaming in this article.
That brings me back to me, the city, and things being pretty much the same as they have always been. And things change, as well. Two years ago, after Katrina, there were blue tarps on many roofs. I had a great view from my 36th floor office space. Now, when I look out from that same, or a substantially similar vantage point, I see many fewer tarps. That is good news. I also have driven to and through blighted areas. Many of them are still the same. There are work crews rebuilding some rental properties, some individual home owners have rebuilt. However, they are located right next to properties that may never see any repairs. The Corps of Engineers has rebuilt many levees, and added strength to others. Most of those changes will prevent the levee breaches that took over the city back then, however, the pumping capacity is not sufficient to overcome major rainfalls when the "surge protections" are in place. My opinion: we get another major storm, we'll end up under just as much water as before, except the home owners' insurance policies will be hard pressed to pull the same things they are pulling now - not paying out - because wind driven rain may not be excluded. But I digress, only slightly.
What is still the same is that many people are relying on the government to make everything better for them. There is a Louisiana Recovery Authority, organized by our illustrious Governor Blanco (we sometimes call her "Blank Stare", "Stanco", "Bobblehead" - after her middle name, Babineaux), which has done nothing short of promise things it cannot deliver. That group created the "Road Home" program, which paid an outside company WAY too much money with little result, except to not have enough to pay out the claims made by people wanting to return home. In addition, the hoops and hurdles to jump through to get this money are staggering. In short, people are waiting for money that will never come. The Feds aren't much help either. With the problems of getting back into regular housing, FEMA wants to get people out of trailers. Great. Where will they go? The long and the short of it all is that after two years, we are little more than where we were right after the water was pumped out. The upside is that other hurricane ravaged areas have taken a while to rebuild, as well. Florida is only now coming back to some level of normal following the summer of 4 storms. So, this is to be expected.
Our elected officials are being outed for illegal and questionable activity. Nothing new for Louisiana, home of the best politicians money can buy for two centuries. We have a Congressman who kept $90,000 in his freezer who expects us to think this is a normal sort of thing, even though everyone in Washington involved with the deal he has been tied to stated he was involved and took the money as a bribe to get what they wanted. We have a Senator who stepped out on his wife, and admitted it. One of the candidates for governor sold his home grown Louisiana business to an out of state insurance company's parent company (the insurance company has been engaged in fraudulent activities in Florida), taking a Louisiana business and making it a 'foreign' entity, possibly costing Louisiana residents their jobs at a time when we need to get and keep business here. We have a City Councilman just resigned under Federal indictment for a kickback scheme from 5 years ago. We have several judges that have been ousted for everything from letting criminals practically walk free while pending trial (bonds so low, they pretty much could walk right out) to running court from their house by telephone. We have a former Governor in prison for bribes/kickbacks that took no less than three U.S. Attorneys over 20 years to finally succeed in prosecuting him and gaining a conviction. We've had a lawyer embezzle $4 million from his firm. We even had a law student get busted for soliciting a minor for sex over the internet. That's right, we have it all down here. Sadly, anyone looking at the history of Louisiana will realize that this sort of thing has been the norm since we were founded. Again, the more things change...
So, where am I going with all of this, aside from ranting on about things that annoy me? I am simply saying that looking back on the past two years, I have seen some strange things that, under different circumstances might make me cringe, however, because of what I have seen and experienced, I think that now, I can finally say, I have been able to move past much of it, or at least learned how to deal with it. What do I mean? Well, prior to all of this, I was bopping along happily doing my job. Afterwards, folks elsewhere changed, lost their sympathy for our situation down here, and demanded things that, mentally, I was not quite ready to do. End result: I was looking for work the week before my wedding. I get back from the honeymoon, did temp work for my wife's boss, and then he runs out of money to pay me after 4 months. I'm out of work again. I land the job I'm in now. The first month is not quite what I was expecting, and then, the post-traumatic stress, depression and anxiety all kick in at once. I wallowed in it for about two weeks, then decided to do something about it. I was tired of things "being the same" and decided to have "things change". I called my doctor, got something for the anxiety. After two weeks, it really didn't help much for the depression, so I asked for anti-depressants. I began seeing a therapist, who made a recommendation on a better anti-anxiety pill. Now, both work well, and I have learned to deal with some of the root causes of things. Granted, I still have a long way to go, as there are some issues that go way back for me, but the post-K items are doing much better.
For anyone who knows me personally, the above was a major confession, and a major growth step for me, as saying things like that have never come easily for me, even talking to my closest friends and relatives. I guess that is part of the anonymity of the internet. I feel I can just put this out there. But, in some ways, it was necessary. Both to complete the circle from the article two years ago, and to get some things off my chest.
In the future, I don't expect to do much of this sort of thing, as I intend to try to keep this a fiction forum. However, I ran across Part I while cleaning up my thumb drives, and realized that not only was it never published, but, I never got around to Part II. So, I bring myself some closure here, as I intend to do with my writing in the future. I had to start somewhere. After all, I would like to make some changes without things remaining the same.
K
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
The More Things Change, Part I
This is an article I wrote for the RPG Times two years ago. Having recently read it, and approaching my birthday, I am reminded, once again, that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
The More Things Change….(Part One)
As I sit here putting this month’s article together, I contemplate two things: my recent 31st birthday, and the pending 4th anniversary of September 11. Now, I know what you might be thinking: how will these two things be applied to gaming and rules? Aha! That is why I am here. All this and more will be made clear in the mere space of 2500 words – then will be continued next month.
Part One – My Birthday. Yes, I have hit a milestone in that I am older now than I used to be. In looking back at my gaming career, I realize that I have been involved in gaming since the spring of 1991. About 14 years. That is serious gaming. The kind where you buy your dice at strange shops with “weirdos” hanging out, usually located next to a pizza joint, or at least has one on speed dial. For me, that place was Wargames and Fantasy (since closed). It had a Domino’s pizza next door that had a walk-in special for customers of the shop. Very cool. I started in playing Star Fleet Battles, but, through some friends in high school, I moved into Teenagers From Outer Space, GURPS, and Mechwarrior 2.0. Don’t get me wrong, I still played wargames and board games a-plenty, but, I had my share of RPGs, as well. That summer I went to my first convention – the New Orleans Science Fiction and Fantasy Festival (also now defunct). I was riding high and on top of my game. Everything was going swimmingly well, I knew all the right people, had all the good grades, had some hobbies that didn’t involve getting trashed every weekend. Things were great. I started college and moved on to other groups and games. I played my first Star Wars D6 system game, got into Silent Death (miniature starship game), did some playtesting for a game called Movie Oriented Concepts that never saw a publisher. I got heavy into Axis and Allies, which lead to the other games in the MB Gamemaster Series, as well as other “plastic miniature board games”. Since that time, I suffered the nightmare of law school and the bar exam, been laid off/unemployed – twice, did temp work, been darned near broke, almost got thrown out of my house, and now, things have come full circle. I am back on top of my game, things are going well, I know the right folks, have a great job doing something I love, have a great group of friends, and still get to enjoy the hobbies I love to do.
Now, 14 years later, I look at what has gone before and I think “DAMN, did I spend some money!! I could be rich!” Seriously, I think about the games that have been around, and gone through revisions (both miniature and RPGs). For example – D&D, the old staple, has been redone as Third Edition, then again 3.5. And on top of it, it has spawned a whole cadre of D20 based games and supplements that occupy an entire section of the wall at my current Friendly Local Game Shop (FLGS) – Galactic Games Emporium (which has a Papa John’s next door, plenty of “weirdos” – some are just older versions of the ones at my first shop). The good old standard White Wolf Storyteller system has been reinvented, with the “end of the world” in their four main lines and a rebirth following. I’m still not totally up to speed on that one, except to know that they seem to have universalized some of the mechanics, and left the specifics to the particular denizens of the dark (ie – the base game mechanics don‘t appear to shift all that much between the various games, but there are still flavorful and rich components specific to the particular genre). Star Wars has been reborn as a D20 entity, with Wizards of the Coast acquiring the license from Lucasfilm. And speaking of Wizards, they started off with Magic the gathering and a smattering of Richard Garfield games, and have now come together with Avalon Hill (old standard of the counter and hex military games), Hasbro, and TSR. They get all the good stuff. They have reissued my old favorite, Axis and Allies, but have punched it up a bit, adding elements that give more flavor and depth to the game. They have also released three supplemental games based on the mechanics, and are releasing (by the time this goes to press) a collectible miniature game based on the property, as well. We all know the TSR story by now. Steve Jackson Games has also issued a new version of GURPS (4th). When I started with them, Third Edition had just come out (give or take) and Third Revised wasn’t until 1998 (or so). They reissued Ogre, and did miniatures for it (again). And these are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head, industry-wise.
As far as my gaming groups goes, we have swirled around and around, but we are, essentially, the same group that began playing together back in 1991. A few new folks have been added, but that’s only because folks have moved away. Heck, I was one of the first to go away (to college), but I came back. That’s not to say that the folks aren’t happy where they are, or would likely come back to New Orleans, but, the point is, we’ve been through it before, and are going through it again.
Fourteen years ago, we had George Bush in the White House and a war in Iraq. Today, we have George Bush in the White House and a war in Iraq. We (collectively) watched 90210, Friends, Seinfeld, Mad About You, Home Improvement, and Full House. Today, with the magic of syndicated television, we still watch the same shows. Thirtysomething was ending its run, now we are thirtysomething.
What I’m getting at here is that everything that was old is new again. We are seeing pretty much the same things, over and over and over again. How do we deal with this in our games? How do we stay fresh in the ever-changing world that keeps coming back on itself? That’s why I am here. There are rules for that, and ways you can incorporate that sort of thing into your games.
For argument’s sake, I will go back to my old World of Darkness game for an example. Back then, we had our own plots to work up and goals to work towards. Now, with the system overhauled, we have a much broader opportunity to choose characters, and still make them work. But, in that particular situation, I could run a new game. Pulling the characters that I still have notes for, or liked the concepts, I could just as easily update that particular setting, fast forward the time, and revisit the same characters later on in their lives. They could be the NPCs in the game, with the players facing off against their old selves. I like to give credit where credit is due – this is not a new idea in gaming, overall, and, it was from reading Steven Marsh’s column, “Random Thought Table” in Steve Jackson Games’s “Pyramid Magazine”, that the above brainchild popped into my head. Mr. Marsh advocates things like reunions, social gatherings, and other events where characters may not have seen each other in quite some time. (As a side note, the issue current with the writing of this article talks about change as well – great minds think alike, it seems.) When everything old is new again, you can do that very thing with plots, characters, o whatever you like. The idea is to be fresh and not predictable. As I’ve stated before, I think, my plots are shamelessly “borrowed” from works that I admire. In the case of some of my players, they may recognize the basics of the plot I am throwing at them. This isn’t so bad, right, they can play within something they already know and with which they are familiar. However, since that is such a predictable thing, and since I know my players very well, I need to come up with some “alternatives” to keep them on their toes.
When you pull something like this in the game, you need to be prepared for your players calling you on it. Some of them, though familiar with the plots, may not be big fans of the outcomes or of the methods used to get from point A to point B. This will happen, after all, they are people. My current Star Wars game is a great example of this. I really enjoyed playing the Xbox game "Knights of the Old Republic". I went ahead and borrowed the plot to make a sequence of events happen, that all seemed to flow with my plot. One of my new players had actually played out its completion in the four basic methods of play. Needless to say, the first scenario he was a part of, he somewhat ran the whole show. Needless to say, I wasn't quite prepared for that, and have since gotten it worked out with the plot that he will not be able to do so again, whenever we get back to playing.
The More Things Change….(Part One)
As I sit here putting this month’s article together, I contemplate two things: my recent 31st birthday, and the pending 4th anniversary of September 11. Now, I know what you might be thinking: how will these two things be applied to gaming and rules? Aha! That is why I am here. All this and more will be made clear in the mere space of 2500 words – then will be continued next month.
Part One – My Birthday. Yes, I have hit a milestone in that I am older now than I used to be. In looking back at my gaming career, I realize that I have been involved in gaming since the spring of 1991. About 14 years. That is serious gaming. The kind where you buy your dice at strange shops with “weirdos” hanging out, usually located next to a pizza joint, or at least has one on speed dial. For me, that place was Wargames and Fantasy (since closed). It had a Domino’s pizza next door that had a walk-in special for customers of the shop. Very cool. I started in playing Star Fleet Battles, but, through some friends in high school, I moved into Teenagers From Outer Space, GURPS, and Mechwarrior 2.0. Don’t get me wrong, I still played wargames and board games a-plenty, but, I had my share of RPGs, as well. That summer I went to my first convention – the New Orleans Science Fiction and Fantasy Festival (also now defunct). I was riding high and on top of my game. Everything was going swimmingly well, I knew all the right people, had all the good grades, had some hobbies that didn’t involve getting trashed every weekend. Things were great. I started college and moved on to other groups and games. I played my first Star Wars D6 system game, got into Silent Death (miniature starship game), did some playtesting for a game called Movie Oriented Concepts that never saw a publisher. I got heavy into Axis and Allies, which lead to the other games in the MB Gamemaster Series, as well as other “plastic miniature board games”. Since that time, I suffered the nightmare of law school and the bar exam, been laid off/unemployed – twice, did temp work, been darned near broke, almost got thrown out of my house, and now, things have come full circle. I am back on top of my game, things are going well, I know the right folks, have a great job doing something I love, have a great group of friends, and still get to enjoy the hobbies I love to do.
Now, 14 years later, I look at what has gone before and I think “DAMN, did I spend some money!! I could be rich!” Seriously, I think about the games that have been around, and gone through revisions (both miniature and RPGs). For example – D&D, the old staple, has been redone as Third Edition, then again 3.5. And on top of it, it has spawned a whole cadre of D20 based games and supplements that occupy an entire section of the wall at my current Friendly Local Game Shop (FLGS) – Galactic Games Emporium (which has a Papa John’s next door, plenty of “weirdos” – some are just older versions of the ones at my first shop). The good old standard White Wolf Storyteller system has been reinvented, with the “end of the world” in their four main lines and a rebirth following. I’m still not totally up to speed on that one, except to know that they seem to have universalized some of the mechanics, and left the specifics to the particular denizens of the dark (ie – the base game mechanics don‘t appear to shift all that much between the various games, but there are still flavorful and rich components specific to the particular genre). Star Wars has been reborn as a D20 entity, with Wizards of the Coast acquiring the license from Lucasfilm. And speaking of Wizards, they started off with Magic the gathering and a smattering of Richard Garfield games, and have now come together with Avalon Hill (old standard of the counter and hex military games), Hasbro, and TSR. They get all the good stuff. They have reissued my old favorite, Axis and Allies, but have punched it up a bit, adding elements that give more flavor and depth to the game. They have also released three supplemental games based on the mechanics, and are releasing (by the time this goes to press) a collectible miniature game based on the property, as well. We all know the TSR story by now. Steve Jackson Games has also issued a new version of GURPS (4th). When I started with them, Third Edition had just come out (give or take) and Third Revised wasn’t until 1998 (or so). They reissued Ogre, and did miniatures for it (again). And these are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head, industry-wise.
As far as my gaming groups goes, we have swirled around and around, but we are, essentially, the same group that began playing together back in 1991. A few new folks have been added, but that’s only because folks have moved away. Heck, I was one of the first to go away (to college), but I came back. That’s not to say that the folks aren’t happy where they are, or would likely come back to New Orleans, but, the point is, we’ve been through it before, and are going through it again.
Fourteen years ago, we had George Bush in the White House and a war in Iraq. Today, we have George Bush in the White House and a war in Iraq. We (collectively) watched 90210, Friends, Seinfeld, Mad About You, Home Improvement, and Full House. Today, with the magic of syndicated television, we still watch the same shows. Thirtysomething was ending its run, now we are thirtysomething.
What I’m getting at here is that everything that was old is new again. We are seeing pretty much the same things, over and over and over again. How do we deal with this in our games? How do we stay fresh in the ever-changing world that keeps coming back on itself? That’s why I am here. There are rules for that, and ways you can incorporate that sort of thing into your games.
For argument’s sake, I will go back to my old World of Darkness game for an example. Back then, we had our own plots to work up and goals to work towards. Now, with the system overhauled, we have a much broader opportunity to choose characters, and still make them work. But, in that particular situation, I could run a new game. Pulling the characters that I still have notes for, or liked the concepts, I could just as easily update that particular setting, fast forward the time, and revisit the same characters later on in their lives. They could be the NPCs in the game, with the players facing off against their old selves. I like to give credit where credit is due – this is not a new idea in gaming, overall, and, it was from reading Steven Marsh’s column, “Random Thought Table” in Steve Jackson Games’s “Pyramid Magazine”, that the above brainchild popped into my head. Mr. Marsh advocates things like reunions, social gatherings, and other events where characters may not have seen each other in quite some time. (As a side note, the issue current with the writing of this article talks about change as well – great minds think alike, it seems.) When everything old is new again, you can do that very thing with plots, characters, o whatever you like. The idea is to be fresh and not predictable. As I’ve stated before, I think, my plots are shamelessly “borrowed” from works that I admire. In the case of some of my players, they may recognize the basics of the plot I am throwing at them. This isn’t so bad, right, they can play within something they already know and with which they are familiar. However, since that is such a predictable thing, and since I know my players very well, I need to come up with some “alternatives” to keep them on their toes.
When you pull something like this in the game, you need to be prepared for your players calling you on it. Some of them, though familiar with the plots, may not be big fans of the outcomes or of the methods used to get from point A to point B. This will happen, after all, they are people. My current Star Wars game is a great example of this. I really enjoyed playing the Xbox game "Knights of the Old Republic". I went ahead and borrowed the plot to make a sequence of events happen, that all seemed to flow with my plot. One of my new players had actually played out its completion in the four basic methods of play. Needless to say, the first scenario he was a part of, he somewhat ran the whole show. Needless to say, I wasn't quite prepared for that, and have since gotten it worked out with the plot that he will not be able to do so again, whenever we get back to playing.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Another Week, Nothing New to Report
Change of plans, different story will be written, due to time and feeling that I can't do it justice. This post is so bad. Had to re-do it b/c the uploader did not work right. Bugger, bugger, bugger.
K
K
Monday, August 6, 2007
The Continuation of My Promise to Myself
Well, I have done it again. I have nothing fictional to post here once more, however, in all effort to maintain posting regularly, here I sit, keyboard staring back up at me with the expectant look of a lost puppy.
I suppose I should say that things have improved at work over the last week. Most of what happened was perceived, and not actual, so, I came to that realization, and felt better. I had some validation of my peformance from my boss, which helped. And, finally, I had some validation from a client, which was the best validation of all, as it was completely unsolicited, unexpected, and was a true reflection on how I performed my job. Then, I saw my therapist, and found some new tools to deal with the feelings of last week, should they crop up again (and, likely, they will, this is, afterall, life). So, it was a productive end of the week, turning things around for me.
This week promises to be good, as there is plenty of billable time to be had. I just need to figure out how they want their billing done, as I have had it working fine for weeks, several times now, and, at the tnd of a stage, I get some BS about the way I'm doing it, and make alterations. I think I may have it down the way they want this time, but, I'll never actually know. I just keep billing away, keep track of it all, and make sure we get it in to get paid, and my commission should take care of itself.
Anyway, I hope to have something useful to post soon.
K
I suppose I should say that things have improved at work over the last week. Most of what happened was perceived, and not actual, so, I came to that realization, and felt better. I had some validation of my peformance from my boss, which helped. And, finally, I had some validation from a client, which was the best validation of all, as it was completely unsolicited, unexpected, and was a true reflection on how I performed my job. Then, I saw my therapist, and found some new tools to deal with the feelings of last week, should they crop up again (and, likely, they will, this is, afterall, life). So, it was a productive end of the week, turning things around for me.
This week promises to be good, as there is plenty of billable time to be had. I just need to figure out how they want their billing done, as I have had it working fine for weeks, several times now, and, at the tnd of a stage, I get some BS about the way I'm doing it, and make alterations. I think I may have it down the way they want this time, but, I'll never actually know. I just keep billing away, keep track of it all, and make sure we get it in to get paid, and my commission should take care of itself.
Anyway, I hope to have something useful to post soon.
K
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